I would like to file a complaint with the manager of this establishment. This place is trashed. You can’t take two steps without treading upon something that either squeaks, screams or breaks into a huge splinter in the bottom of your foot. There are obstacles in all the main fire exits as well as a continually operating hose right into the kitchen area…a HUGE slip hazard. I caught some rather short, yet very sneaky person going through my wallet mumbling something about “looking for MY monies.” There is a taller, blond person trying to do “God’s work,” which apparently entails dipping oneself in a communal pool of nasty water and kicking soccer balls at the windows of this establishment. Some joker is teaching dance class with the world’s loudest, most annoying set of drums as “music”. The dog can’t go outside without eating grass and returning to vomit profusely on the few spots of bare floor. Right now, there is a huge argument going on between a couple over who has current possession of a T-Rex. And what is that smell coming from the laundry area? I would investigate it myself, but the last time I did, I found a two year old “science experiment.” I will forward you a copy of the bio hazard disposal bill, by the way. Some skinny, 40ish male is standing in the hallway asking when his “needs, other than 2 hours a day at the gym, 40 hours a week on soccer, and 6 hours a week on his tan” will be met. There are no less than 50 dead caterpillars in bug catchers spread across the outside seating area. Your employees are completely unable to function on their own accord, totally lacking in common sense and the ability to make good choices. When left to their own devices, they choose to swing from the blind cords and perform acrobatics on and off of the furniture. When asked or directed what to do, they stare blankly back at me and say, “Huh?” There are muffled shouts of “Heeeeelp! Stuck!” every 15 minutes coming from various locations in the common living area. Someone reported possible poaching in the turtle enclosure, however I took the liberty of passing that complaint along to Animal Services.
In closing, I would like to know what can be done about this factory of insanity you are running. I for one am disgusted and look forward to hearing your plan of action.
Thank you,
From me
(PS. Why does youe entire staff insist on calling me “Mommy”? I have a name, you know. True, I can’t remember what it is, but I know I have one.)